The next two days are going to be tiring at work with the mandatory overtime so 10 fun filled hours of my physically demanding job. But it’s helping me lose weight and I get caught up on audio books. But it sure as hell makes me sore.

OK so I promised I’d write more and I have more about my job. Diversity in cities is something most people deal with. In some instances things are fine but at other times the racism comes from the other side. There was drama superbullshit at work today and I can’t stand it. So it made my 10 hour day seem so much longer.

Last night I had my grief support group and I know they’re helping but something shots last night made me flash to my own experience. I still feel guilty for not getting Dexter and myself out before he was viciously murdered. And the therapists and psychiatrists day they’re treating me for my Ptsd and I’m still in my trauma brain so that’s why I still startle easy, have panic attacks, nightmares and keep going over things in my head. The memorial walk is this weekend and I have to pick a picture of Luna and Dexter to go with their luminaries. From what I read in my grief book for pets they do give your signs and I believe it. Today my crossword puzzle theme was Dexter. I’ll continue writing later.

So speaking of medications my psychiatrist increased my dosage on the Minipress which is supposed to help with nightmares. When I was initially put on it the previous doc had me take it day and night but Yakura has me taking it at night. She recently increased the dosage of that and of the fluoxetine. I would like to not have to take the clonazapam 1 pill at daytime and night. She also wants to see if I can cut back and she’s trying to help me get to sleep at night. I told her that I thought that it is this time of year and now I’m more-so dealing with what he did to me and the cats without the additional crap with the courts attached. Everything keeps flooding back to me in bits and pieces either in nightmares or flashes. It comes out of no where and I just freeze up, or get a wicked panic attack and I hate it. I hate the nightmares, I hate remembering and it’s just rough for me to handle. Tough love and trying to push me is not easy and I dislike it more than I say.

On a more positive note, I do continue taking pictures and posting them to Instagram, Facebook on The Luna Projects, Twitter and other places. On Instagram I have almost 700 followers and I like the following and being recognized as a photographer. Went to Riverfest over Labor Day weekend and got lots of nice pictures.

Something I’m doing this weekend is going on a memorial walk with Angel Paws which is local to Cincinnati. This is the grief support group I go to twice a month and they do much more for our fur babies.